As a self proclaimed wordsmith, I just had to post these....

Mensa Invitational

*The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.*

*Here are the winners:*

1.* **Cashtration* (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

3.* **Intaxicaton* : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.

4.* **Reintarnation* : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5.* **Bozone* ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

7.* **Giraffiti* : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8.* **Sarchasm* : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

9.* **Inoculatte* : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10.* **Osteopornosis* : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11.* **Karmageddon* : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like,
a serious bummer.

12.* **Decafalon* (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

13.* **Glibido* : All talk and no action.

14.* **Dopeler Effect*: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

15.* **Arachnoleptic Fit* (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16.* **Beelzebug* (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17.* **Caterpallor* ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.

*The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
common words.

And the winners are:
*
1.* **Coffee*, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.

2.* **Flabbergasted*, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.

3..* **Abdicate*, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4* **esplanade*, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5.* **Willy-nilly*, adj. Impotent.

6..* **Negligent*, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing
only a nightgown.

7.* **Lymph*, v.. To walk with a lisp.

8.* **Gargoyle*, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.* **Flatulence*, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has
been run over by a steamroller.

10.* **Balderdash*, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11.* **Testicle*, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12.* **Rectitude*, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.

13.* **Pokemon*, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14.* **Oyster*, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15.* **Frisbeetarianism*, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.* **Circumvent*, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.